I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize