I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
