i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
