Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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