What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
