***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Found the puke drawer
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
