he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
