Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
