Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
