her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's blow job season.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
