break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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