I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
