Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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