and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
