pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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