Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
