Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
