Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
