i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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