Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
