Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
