I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
