It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
In America we eat man semen.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
