He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
