The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
