We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
