Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
