Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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