So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
