just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
