the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
