If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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