Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
