I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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