if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
