Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
