Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
