Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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