Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
