Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
