in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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