had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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