I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Randomize
