How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
