This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize