i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
