me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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