Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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