honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
