Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I had to cum in my sink.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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