I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize