so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
