Everything about him screamed your future.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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