Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
