i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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