i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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