i would punch a child for taco bell
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
