so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
