Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
