we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
