singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
