is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize