Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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