My brain says no but my pants say off.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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