In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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