So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
