My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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