is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
