I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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