why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
