Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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